Three Cheers for Christmas Cards

 

 The year was 1934.

The place ~ Detroit, Michigan.

A little boy named Emil picked up his pencil and carefully wrote down his Christmas wishes to a little girl he knew in school.  After putting his 1 cent stamp on the card he dropped it in the mailbox and off it went.

79 years later it now belongs to that little girl's daughter... me :).

As a child I often asked my mom if she had anything from her childhood.  Growing up in a single parent home during the depression her Christmas gifts were provided by the Salvation Army.  An organization that she had a soft spot for always.

Consequently, she had no toys or books or anything leftover from her childhood to show me.  She did, however, have this Christmas card.  It didn't do much to impress me as a young girl.

My best friend's mom still had an old set of Little Women dolls.  I thought that was much more impressive than an old Christmas card.

***

Fast forward to 2009.

My mom was in the later stages of her journey through Alzheimer's disease.

One day I was talking with the Hospice social worker and she shared with me that she saw Alzheimer's as being born in reverse.  At the time I was so overwhelmed with all that was going on that I didn't really appreciate what she was telling me.

But, as my mom's short term memory disappeared and she clearly was living once again in her younger life I began to understand a bit better.

A few months before she passed away, Brett and I were visiting one day and mom very excitedly told us that she had a new boyfriend.  She sounded for all the world like a young girl telling us about her first boyfriend.  By this time her memories of being married to my dad for 56 years had all but disappeared.  

When I asked her what her new boyfriend's name was she replied "Emil".

Brett looked at me in confusion and I whispered, I'll explain that one later.

I now knew why she kept that Christmas card from Emil all those years.  I think he must have been her first crush and now he was going to be her last.  My dad always had a wonderful sense of humor and I knew that even he would be laughing in heaven over this.

It seems as the years go by there are fewer and fewer Christmas cards in the mailbox.  I know with all the forms of social media now, it may be a dying art.

I sure hope not.

I love to send and receive them.  

My mom was the youngest of 7 children.

Therefore, most of my aunts and uncles on her side are now gone.

One aunt remains and she was the wife of mom's oldest brother.

She is still sending Christmas cards.  This note was enclosed in her card this year:

I'll be counting on it, Aunt Georgia.

Isn't her handwriting beautiful?

I may be old-fashioned, but I hope the sending of Christmas cards remains a tradition for many years.

Perhaps that explains why this vintage ad hangs in my family room ;-).

A Very Special Birthday Card

Marge and Lorene were next door neighbors. They were homemakers raising their children side by side in the 1950s. A fence separated their tiny yards and each year Lorene planted morning glory seeds along the fence so by mid summer that chain link fence was covered in beautiful blue flowers. Heavenly blue to be exact. Through the years many neighborly conversations took place over that fence. Often as they hung their wash on the backyard clothesline these two women would chat with each other while holding babies on their hips and pinning clothes to the line. Once the clothes were in place and gently swaying to and fro in the warm summer sunshine the ladies would often retreat to one or the other of their kitchens to share a cup of coffee as they continued their conversation.

In February of 1956 Marge sent her friend Lorene a birthday card.

Lorene liked the card so well that come October she crossed off Marge's name and wrote her name and sent it back to Marge ~ just to be funny. They each got a little laugh out of that.

Apparently Marge liked the idea so the following February she did the same thing and sent the card back to Lorene.

It became a tradition that they kept up for many years. In fact so many that the card became full and they started a second card.

When Lorene moved away the card continued to travel across the states twice a year. Often after the signature a short sentence would follow. It might be a child's marriage, a new grandchild, a husband going to heaven and eventually a second husband joining the first husband. Year after year the card continued.

Many years later Lorene developed dementia and soon reached a point where many things were being misplaced or mysteriously disappearing, but somehow the card was never misplaced. The handwriting changed and the decline was becoming evident. Marge felt sad, but continued to send the card and also include a letter of care and concern to her dear friend.

Fifty three years later the card is in Lorene's possession. As her daughter I so wanted her to be able to return it to Marge on her October 17th birthday. Even though she had reached a point where she could no longer write very much, I thought I might be able to at least get her signature. Sadly, it wasn't to be. My dear mother began to decline rapidly in the last week and it was evident that there would be no signature this year. I signed it on her behalf and included a good old fashioned snail mail letter to our former neighbor, Marge explaining the situation.

I spent a good portion of the weekend at my mom's side as she became weaker. Yesterday the hospice nurse informed me that the end was near . Mom is now at peace. Life will never be the same without her, but I was able to be with her until the end. We all had a chance to pay our respects and tell her we love her one last time. For that I am grateful.

And now these three remain:

Faith, Hope and Love,

But the greatest of these is Love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Wearing the Crown of Life

Good Morning and may this be the start of a great week for you.

We have had a few days of relief from the humidity that is a normal part of summer in North Carolina. The early mornings have found me beginning my day here.

Just me, my coffee and my new book of devotions.
This past month as my mom continues her struggle with Alzheimer's and my sister is working so hard to recover from her stroke, I have found it difficult to sit by and watch them suffer. It is such a helpless feeling. Though I get up every day and carry on with my daily routines, it is impossible to not be thinking about them constantly. At times I have felt like there isn't any more room inside of me for sadness.


On a recent morning this was my devotion. It really spoke to me and I know that it is so true. We all do go through periods of pain, sadness and stress. It is easy in these times to just want life to be "normal" again. "Caving in" can seem so much easier than persevering. But, that doesn't change anything except to make you feel worse. I know that I want to wear the "crown of life". I want to welcome each day with a prayer for those who I know are hurting and suffering. I want to concentrate on positive ways that I might be able to help them through the rough times.


Yes there is sadness and suffering in life. But, there is also great beauty and happiness. If I choose to live in sadness I will miss the good things that each day has to offer. Getting up early this morning to savor my morning coffee as a gentle, cooling breeze blew and the birds sang was a simple yet beautiful moment in my day. Opening my blinds to a new day and seeing the crape myrtles in full bloom was another small but happy moment in my day.

A good visit with my mom today, observing one of the CNAs being so kind and compassionate to her were moments of beauty among the sadness.

Calling my sister tonight and finding her able to say more words than last week and also hearing that she is able to move her foot and hand a little bit was a fantastic and wonderful way to end my day. Though I know she still has a long road ahead of her in this recovery process, I am so elated and happy to know that she is showing progress.

Your kind comments and e-mails have been a real blessing to me. Every time I think of people that have never met me in person taking the time to think of me and say a prayer for my sister and my mom I get tears in my eyes. Tears of joy and tears that make me want to put on the crown of life and keep it on!!

This week I will be be getting ready for a dinner party to celebrate my in-laws 60th anniversary. The following week I am flying to Michigan to spend time with my sister. I am planning to print all of the inspiring comments you have made since I shared her story and take them with me. If you would like to offer any words of encouragement to her as she goes through her therapy I know she would be happy to read them. Her name is Norma.

Thank you for being you and sharing you with me :-)

Heartfelt Thanks & An Update

Thank you for your prayers. I have been so touched by your comments and sincerely appreciate each and every one of them. I have been blogging for a year now and in this time it never ceases to amaze me what a caring community we belong to.

Since my last post, my sister had surgery. Her brain had begun to swell as a result of the stroke and it was necessary to remove a portion of her skull to allow more room for the swelling to occur. Once the swelling goes down, the doctors will re-attach it. Unfortunately she is still unable to speak or move the right side of her body. One day I called the hospital and my brother-in-law held the phone to her ear so that I could tell her we were praying for her and loved her. It was kind of strange not to hear her voice, but at the same time nice to be able to make some kind of contact. On a more positive note, she was able to begin her physical and speech therapy yesterday. She has received many, many flowers and cards and visitors. Her sister-in-law told me that even though she can't speak she feels like they can still have a 2 sided conversation.

When I called one of my cousins in Michigan to tell her about my sister she said she had just finished reading a book about a 37 year old lady who was a brain scientist and had a massive stroke. She recovered and wrote a book telling about her experiences.

Yesterday I checked it out of the library. I am hoping it will give me some insight into what my sister will be going through.

Before my sister got sick my husband and I had reservations at a Bed & Breakfast in Virginia. We were planning a little getaway to celebrate our 28th anniversary. I came real close to cancelling as my heart just wasn't in it. Somehow it didn't feel right to be vacationing while a family member was suffering. My husband reminded me that right now there wasn't a whole lot we could do and what we could do (pray, send cards, call the hospital, etc.) could be done from Virginia. We are planning to go to Michigan to be with my sister as soon as her family thinks the time is right. Her therapy is expected to take several weeks.

My husband's logic won out and we did go away for a short bit of R & R.

We spent four nights here. It is in Waynesboro, Virginia.

A 100 year old home that was originally owned by a doctor. We slept in his wife's former bedroom.

A very cozy room which was beautifully decorated

The perfect spot to rest and relax.

There was also a very welcoming front porch.

In the evenings we often sat here and read. It was in a charming neighborhood with a church right across the street and lots of friendly people walking by with their dogs stopping to chat for a few minutes.

During this time that my sister has been sick and unable to talk and my mom is able to talk, but not understand I often feel an empty spot. I guess because throughout my life if I had hard times to face I could always talk to my mom about them. Since mom has been sick and slowly slipping away I have been able to talk to my sister about the never ending things that are happening to my mom. Alzheimer's isn't easy to understand. I never know what to expect when I visit my mom. Yesterday she didn't seem to know who I was. Every time I asked her she said my sister's name. But the strangest thing that she was doing was saying many words that didn't make any sense and most of them began with the letter E. I am learning that the brain is an amazing part of our bodies and when it doesn't function properly very strange things can occur.

I think one of my favorite parts of our getaway was coming out of the bedroom in the morning and smelling coffee and delicious breakfast foods. As a kid I always loved waking up on a morning that my mom had made pancakes or coffee cake. It was wonderful to lay in bed and look forward to a yummy breakfast prepared with love. The breakfasts at this Bed & Breakfast were fabulous and presented so beautifully. The owner had lived in England and collected many beautiful dishes and antique pieces.

While it can seem almost impossible to carry on with day to day life when those closest to you are suffering, it is necessary for we really don't know what tomorrow will hold.

One Phone Call Can Change It All

Strange how with one phone call the day can change in a split second.

Yesterday brought just such a call.
As we were preparing to have our family Father's Day celebration one day early I received a phone call from my brother-in-law. It is rare for him to call me so I was a bit suspicious as soon as I answered the phone. But when he immediately told me that he was going to have great difficulty talking to me my heart became heavy. I had no idea what he would tell me, but I knew it wasn't something I wanted to hear.

Nothing could prepare me for what he had to say.

He told me that my sister had had a stroke. He told me that she is in the hospital unable to speak or move most of the right side of her body. I could not comprehend how my sister who is very religious about her exercise habits and has always eaten a very healthy diet could possibly be in this condition. We had just talked to each other on the phone a few days earlier and she sounded happy.

Today is her youngest son's birthday. My heart is breaking for her and her family. I can only imagine how frightening it must be to be unable to speak. I find comfort in knowing that she is in a good hospital and has many friends and her family to be with her now. They believe now that she will be in the hospital for several weeks and is expected to recover what she has lost. I am ready to go be with her as soon as the time is right. I have been advised that the better time to come would be when she is receiving therapy.

We are supposed to be leaving for a short vacation to celebrate our anniversary. There are a lot of things up in the air now. My Mom has begun to receive Hospice care. I am told that with Alzheimer's patients that could mean the end is near, but not necessarily. Of course I know that there is really only one person who knows that for sure. I only tell you these things because I feel it necessary to take a break from doing any new posts. I hope to still be doing some visiting. I guess I also share these things because I would like to ask a favor. If you wouldn't mind including my sister and my Mom in your prayers it would warm my heart more than you will ever know. If I can ever return the favor I will be more than happy to do so. Though I may be away from posting for a while, all of you will remain in my thoughts daily.

~ Thank You ~

Love,

Sweeten Every Day With Love

The week began with an afternoon call from the assisted living center where my mom resides. They were worried about some troubling symptoms they noticed in her and were sending her to the ER to be checked out. This has been happening with more frequency as her progression with Alzheimer's continues. We spent 3 hours there and were eating dinner at 10 pm. Fortunately it wasn't anything too serious for mom and she was able to go back home. The next morning I was feeling unusually exhausted. My husband told me he thinks it is because of stress. While I am glad to be able to be my mom's caregiver I know he is probably right. Either way, I was trying to figure out how I could rise above my exhaustion and get going with my day. I decided to go outside and water the plants on my front porch. When I opened the door I saw the box in the above photo and I instantly started to feel a bit more energetic.

Recently I saw this delightful giveaway.
Of course I thought the giveaway items were fabulous, but I also loved how Tracy asked us to share a way that someone had sweetened one of our days with Love and/or to share a favorite chocolate treat that we enjoy.

I shared one of the ways my husband sweetens my days. I was thrilled to receive an e-mail from Tracy telling me that I was the winner!!!

I was even more thrilled to open the box and see the beautifully wrapped gifts that Tracy had sent to me. Everything was coordinated so nicely. Look at this sweet little gift tag. Everything was so bright and cheery. I was truly feeling more energetic just looking at these lovely packages. Tracy surely has the gift for sweetening every day with love.

Oh how I love this plate. It has found a home on the kitchen counter that I consider to be my baking center. I will enjoy it's beauty and be reminded daily of the special community we share through our blogs. I also hope it reminds me to think often of things I can do to help sweeten the days of others.

Be still my heart!!

This apron was also included. How can you not feel upbeat and happy in this adorable apron? Polka dots and rick rack are a winning combination in the cheerfulness department.

There were some extra surprises in the box too.

Adorable recipe cards, a super cute note card with a cherry emblem attached and a super generous sized Dove chocolate bar. How did she know that is my hands down favorite brand of chocolate?

And, not to be forgotten, this sweet Gooseberry Patch cookbook full of chocolate recipes.

My day and week has been sweetened by Tracy's generosity. Thank you so much Tracy.

A week that started out a bit sad and stressful has ended on such a sweet note. I feel very blessed today. This afternoon I baked a recipe from this new cookbook. It is called Chewy Chocolate Cookies. Mmmm... they are slightly crisp on the outside and chewy on the inside.

Chewy Chocolate Cookies

1-1/4 c. butter, softened

2 c. sugar

2 eggs, beaten

2 t. vanilla extract

2 c. all purpose flour

3/4 c. baking cocoa

1 t. baking soda

1/2 t. salt

Blend butter and sugar until creamy; add eggs and vanilla. Mix well and set aside. Combine flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt; blend into butter mixture. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 350 degrees for 8 to 9 minutes; do not over bake. Cookies will be soft and will flatten while cooling.

Makes 4-1/2 dozen

And in an attempt to sweeten somebody else's day with love, I have wrapped up a basket of these delicious cookies to take with me when I visit my mom tomorrow. The basket will be given to the CNAs who are with her every day. I am so thankful for their watchful eyes and compassion. This will be a small way that I can show them appreciation for what they do. I will also take a small plate to mom. The lady I visit now is someone very different from the lady I have known as my mom. Very little of that lady remains. However, there is one thing that has remained and that is her love of chocolate. She always was a chocaholic. So now while she doesn't remember most things she still gets a big smile on her face when I bring her anything chocolate and she still says yum after every bite. This warms my heart because it is one of the few glimmers of the mom I remember.

What a beautiful reminder sweeten every day with love is. Sometimes it doesn't take a lot to show someone else that they are appreciated and loved and it is something we all can benefit from.