A Heavy Heart . . .

This post is going to be a little different than usual.

I prefer to keep my topics light & upbeat. I figure we all have enough stress in our lives & reading other people's blogs is often a way to escape the everyday stresses we all face at one time or another.

I really wanted to do a light post today, but I have something on my mind today that is weighing a bit heavy.

I will try to briefly tell you about it without going into too much detail.

This evening my brother, sister & I are faced with telling my Mom that she can no longer live with her husband of 3 years and that in the next 6 weeks he will move to California and she will move into assisted living in Michigan.

Mom is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and it has progressed to a point that her husband can no longer care for her and his family feels it is best that he move into a retirement home without her. We had thought up until 2 weeks ago that Mom was going with him. Yesterday when I talked to her she thinks she is still going with him.

My Mom & her husband both lost their spouses to cancer 7 years ago. Four years ago they met and were like 2 kids in love. Mom wasn't sick then. I had never seen such love and happiness at that stage of life. So, while it seemed a bit strange to see her with another man after 56 years of marriage to Dad, I was just glad to see her happy and not lonely anymore.

Now, since all 3 of my Mom's kids live in different states and time is of the essence for us, we are going to have a conference call to my Mom to gently break this news to her . I am so thankful to have loving siblings to share this burden with, but I dread the call. Unfortunately that is how it goes when families become scattered around the country.

*****

Mom, in a perfect world it would be more like this ~

I would bring you over to our house. We would start with a walk through the garden. I know we both miss that. I remember when you were a young mother and grandma would come to visit the first thing you both would do is walk around the yard and look at the flowers taking note of what was in bloom, sharing stories of when the peonies bloomed this year and who gave you a start of their daisy plant. You always loved to garden and couldn’t wait to walk around the yards of your 2 daughters when you visited. It’s been awhile since you were able to see my yard. So, come take my hand and we will stroll thru the garden. We can take as long as you like and reminisce . .. There is no need to rush today. As you so often remind me, we need to take time to smell the roses.

After we have toured the garden we will have lunch together. I made Aunt Mary’s Chicken Salad and we can talk about all of the times you made it and served it to your tennis friends and that would most likely lead to many laughs about the fun you gals had together. We would definitely have something chocolate for dessert as we both know that no meal is complete without a bit of chocolate at the end. We can sit at the table for as long as you like ~ there is no clock to worry about today.

~ Mothers Day 1989 ~

My sister, me & Mom

When the time seemed right I would broach the subject that I would rather not broach. I will find it very difficult, but know that it has to be done. So, I will look into your eyes and explain to the best of my ability. We can cry together and when you forget what I just told you I will patiently explain it over again as many times as it takes. We will talk about how much all 3 of your children love you and care about you and want you to live happily. While we know it will be different, it can also be good. You will be back to the place you spent most of your life. The place where you were born, the place you raised your family, the place where many of your longtime friends and family still are. They have been concerned about you and will be so glad to be able to visit with you. I will assure you that we have found a nice place for you to live and we are going to make it feel comfortable and homey.

I will take your hand and reassure you that all 3 of us are here for you and you need not be afraid. We know life will take another change for you, but it is our desire to make it a positive change.
We love you, Mom!!

~My sister, Mom, my brother & me~

2002